Mutant Fashion Stars
by Red Witch
Summary: Rogue takes the opportunity to make an argument of Kitty and Jean torture Scott. And everyone else in the mansion. Not to mention fashion lovers everywhere.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters has gone off to buy new outfits. Just some madness from my mind inspired by a certain reality TV show. **

**Mutant Fashion Stars**

"You are so wrong Jean it isn't funny!" Kitty shouted.

"No, what's funny is that you think you're right!" Jean snapped back.

"What are they fighting about?" Amara asked Rogue. The girls were in the living room where Kitty and Jean were arguing about something.

"One of the most important topics in the world," Rogue commented dryly as she read a magazine. "Fashion styles of the rich and famous on the red carpet of the Oscars."

"I'm just saying that shoulder pads had their day and now that day is over," Kitty said. "Over back in the 80's! So Katie Kalifornia should leave her current fashion designer there and find someone living in this century!"

"You're complaining about 80's styles? That's pretty bold considering you talk like an extra from a Valley Girl movie!" Jean snapped.

"But I don't dress like one!" Kitty said. "And that is the main difference!"

"First of all those shoulder pads were not that big," Jean said. "But at least she was wearing a dress unlike **your** friend Cinnamon Saffron!"

"Hey if I had legs like that I'd show them off too!" Kitty snapped. "And so would you."

"It's not the legs I object to, it's her other body parts that dress showed," Jean folded her arms. "She knew she was going to be on TV! You would think she'd have known better to wear underwear!"

"You are just mad that Cinnamon's clothing line has done well unlike your friend Katie," Kitty folded her arms and glared at her friend.

"Who can get mad over a bunch of strategically placed scarves?" Jean snapped.

"How did this argument start?" Amara asked.

"Don't know, don't care," Rogue kept reading the magazine. "Wasn't paying attention."

"I could design a better outfit than her!" Jean told Kitty.

"HA!" Kitty snorted.

"Was that a Ha of derision?" Jean raised an angry eyebrow.

"I believe it was," Kitty said. "No offense Jean it's not that you don't have some sense of style but…cutting edge fashion isn't exactly your forte."

"Oh really? You think yours is any better?" Jean snapped.

"Well I don't want to brag but back home I earned several merit badges in my Girl Scout troop for creating several dresses which also earned me a few first place ribbons in local competitions," Kitty said.

"Kitty making dresses for your Barbie dolls out of colored handkerchiefs when you were ten does **not **qualify you as a fashion design expert!" Jean snapped.

"Well it's better than figuring what cut outs to put on a paper doll!" Kitty snapped.

"Okay I'm interested now," Rogue looked up from her magazine.

"Face it Jean, I could design a better outfit in my **sleep** than you can!" Kitty snapped.

"Oh yeah?" Jean glared at Kitty.

"Yeah!" Kitty glared back.

"You want to put your money where your mouth is?" Jean asked,.

"Bring it on!" Kitty challenged.

"Oh I **will **bring it on!" Jean said defiantly.

"And I will bring it **back** to you in spades!" Kitty crowed.

"FINE!" Jean snapped and stormed out of the room.

"FINE!" Kitty yelled and she stormed out of the other direction of the room.

"This will not end well," Rogue sighed.

"What do we do?" Amara asked.

"Amara one of two things is going to happen," Rogue said. "We warn everyone and try to stay out of their way. But odds are **that **isn't going to happen."

"What is the other option?" Amara asked.

"We help them do whatever crazy plan they come up with and let everyone else fend for themselves while we stay out of the line of fire," Rogue said.

"And by 'everyone else' I'm assuming you mean Scott, Kurt, Bobby and the rest?" Amara asked.

"Yes," Rogue said.

"I'd go with the second option," Amara said.

"Smart girl," Rogue sighed. "Come on."

Two days later…

"This is insane! Even for us!" Scott yelled. "JEAN!"

"Scott you said you would help us," Jean said. "So shut up and suck it up."

"Suck it up? Suck it up?" Scott yelled. "I'm wearing **pink shorts** for crying out loud!"

It was true. Many mutants from the Xavier Institute were on a stage somewhere that had a catwalk runway in the middle. And they were all wearing strange outfits. Scott's outfit was a blue blazer with a pink striped shirt, pink shorts with blue fringe and pink and blue sneakers.

"Stop complaining. They look fine," Jean rolled her eyes.

"Yeah Scott at least you have the legs for it," Bobby remarked. He was wearing a high white and black waistcoat and black pants with white boots. "At least you're not dressed like a demented penguin."

"I'll take your demented penguin and raise you a rip off of Lloyd Irving from Tales of Symphonia," Kurt remarked. He was wearing a red jacket with gold buttons, red paints and black boots. He had some bangles on his tail. "And what are these on my tail?"

"They're tail bracelets," Kitty said. "They're very stylish."

"Tail bracelets? They can't be tail **bracelets**," Roberto remarked. He was wearing a long yellow jacket, sunglasses, a green shirt and yellow pants with green boots. "Bracelets imply something worn on the arms. Not the tail."

"That's why I put a **tail** in front of the word," Kitty gave him a look.

"Well you can't call them anklets," Sam spoke up. He was wearing a weirdly sewn black jacket with chains and zippers all over it. He also wore black pants with zippers and boots with zippers near the feet. "I mean it's on the tail not the ankle."

"I never said they should be called anklets," Roberto corrected. "I said they can't be called **bracelets.**"

"They could be tail rings," Tabitha spoke up. She was wearing a very punk purple dress with black earrings, black stockings and purple and black boots.

"I don't like to wear any rings! Tail or not!" Kurt protested. "Besides they're too big and too jangly for rings." He moved his tail to prove a point.

"Oh yeah, rings don't jangle like that," Sam remarked.

"How about we call them tail-lets?" Bobby suggested.

"How about we forget about the stupid things and get out of here? Why are we all dressed like escapees from the Fashion Awards?" Ray shouted. He was wearing an all silver outfit with gold lightning flashes and gold boots.

"You are going to help us settle an argument once and for all," Rogue said. She was sitting at a table with Amara, Wanda and Pietro. "You catwalk the fashions, we judge."

"It's the part I was **born **to play!" Pietro beamed. "Critiquing your outfits! It's a dream come true!"

"I know I've seen this in my nightmares," Scott moaned.

"And we don't get a say in this?" Kurt asked.

"No," Kitty told him.

"You know Kitty I used to have a crush on you," Kurt gave her a look. "Not anymore."

"Why are you the judges? Rogue I didn't know you even liked fashion!" Scott snapped.

"I don't. But I like being a living Barbie doll even less," Rogue said. "Plus I do like torturing you boys so this works out for me."

"You sold us all out to get out of this didn't you?" Scott asked.

"Pretty much," Rogue nodded.

"That and you guys have really been annoying us lately," Amara shrugged.

"We figured this was the best way to save our skins and get back at you at the same time," Rogue grinned. "For the record Scott I did warn you there would be consequences for the Danger Room incident."

"So you did," Scott sighed. "For the last time Rogue I didn't mean to let those flame throwers get out of hand."

"Out of hand? For a minute I thought Pyro snuck into the simulation for real!" Rogue snapped. "Do you have any idea how close I came to losing my eyebrows?"

"How did Jamie get out of this?" Ray shouted as he looked around.

"He didn't," Bobby said. "He's doing a musical number with his dupes in the second act."

"There's another act to this?" Scott yelled.

"Multiple gets a musical number?" Kurt asked.

"It was in his contract," Rogue admitted.

"Wait he gets **paid?"** Sam shouted.

"It's official," Bobby said. "We so need an agent."

"And why is the Brotherhood here?" Scott yelled.

"Rogue and Magma are here for payback. We're just here for the fun of it," Wanda told him.

"And what fun we will have!" Pietro whooped.

"You can't get away with this! What about the Professor? Wolverine? Storm? Hank? **Any **of the adults?" Bobby protested. "Don't you have to run this by them?"

"We already did," Amara smirked. "They're not here."

"Yeah they headed off to the nearest bar the second Rogue told them what Jean and Kitty were planning," Todd snickered.

"And they just let you guys **do **this to us?" Bobby shouted. "Okay Wolverine I get. He'd throw us off a cliff for a laugh but the Professor, Storm and Beast?"

"Well they did say something about finding a lot of snow in the limo and frozen beaker tubes in the laboratory," Amara smirked.

"Plus I think they were just annoyed at all of you and figured this was the best way to give you a kick in the pants," Rogue said. "Especially after that unscheduled fire drill last week."

"You have to do unscheduled fire drills," Scott said. "For safety reasons!"

"At three in the morning?" Kitty snapped. "In a rainstorm?"

"She's got you there Scott," Bobby said.

"Who asked **you?**" Scott snapped.

"Well what did the rest of us do to deserve this?" Ray shouted.

"Do you want the whole list or just the top ten?" Rogue asked.

"Come on Scott," Tabitha said. "This is going to be fun."

"Of course **you'd** think this is fun," Ray grumbled. "You're a crazy person. You think everything is fun."

"You want to know what I'd **really **think would be fun right now?" Tabitha made a tiny energy ball. "A game of Guess Where I'm Going to Put This Energy Ball!"

"Could you do it **after** we shoot the show?" Todd called out from behind a stand filled with electronic knobs and devices. "Some of this equipment is pretty sensitive and expensive. And believe it or not we didn't steal all of it!"

"I don't believe it. And why are you maniacs in on this?" Scott snapped.

"I thought it was obvious," Pietro said. "You guys get humiliated and they paid us."

"Not as much as you'd think," Kitty said. "Say what you want about the Brotherhood but their rates are quite reasonable."

"Hey guys we're gonna be on air pretty soon," Fred spoke up. He was behind a camera.

"Define pretty soon?" Pietro asked.

"Oh we've been on the air about two minutes now," Fred blinked. "Sorry. My bad. I forgot to watch the timing thing."

"It's official," Scott groaned. "I'm in Hell."

"Welcome to Mutant Fashion Star!" Pietro called out joyfully. "Where you get to see the next evolution of fashion! I'm your host Quicksilver!"

"And I'm Magma," Amara beamed.

"And we're joined by our resident bad girl gone somewhat good, Rogue," Pietro grinned. "Who proves that fashion is in the eye of the beholder even if that eye doesn't have twenty -twenty vision."

"Put a sock in it Pietro," Rogue growled.

"Okay let's go over the rules of Mutant Fashion Star," Pietro grinned. "Our two designers Jean Grey and Kitty Pryde will show you their new collections with the help from our models…"

"You mean your **prisoners!**" Ray shouted.

"Models who should be seen and not heard," Rogue smirked.

"Mostly because they don't have anything interesting to say anyway," Pietro added.

"I'm saying something now! We're being held hostage by maniacs!" Ray yelled. "Help us! We're forced to model clothes by girls with lousy taste!"

Just then Ray was telekinetically thrown back stage. "WHOA!"

"Uh…Just have to sew something up for a bit," Jean smiled before she went back stage. There were sounds of a scuffled. "Ray…Shut up…Just **do** this!"

"OW!" Ray yelled. "MODEL ABUSE! MODEL ABUSE!"

"Any-who, let's get this show on the road shall we?" Pietro grinned. "Uh Kitty why don't you show us your designs first?"

"Do we have to?" Sam moaned.

"YES! Now work it!" Kitty snapped. Her models begrudgingly started to walk on the catwalk. "Kurt shake your tail a bit more! It's dragging!"

"Seriously Kitty, any lingering feelings I had for you are **gone!"** Kurt shouted. "It's over!"

"Join the club," Lance called out from behind some lights.

"I think we **should **make a club!" Kurt spoke out. "Guys Abused By Kitty Club!"

"You can be vice president," Pyro suggested. He was behind another camera.

"Why only vice president?" Kurt asked.

"Because I actually **dated** her!" Lance pointed.

"Good point," Kurt nodded. "You do deserve to be president."

"Well I am the most qualified for the position," Lance shrugged.

"Just quit the commentary and walk!" Kitty shouted. "At least Bobby is trying!"

Bobby was the only one making a serious attempt at acting like a model. "Dude what are you doing?" Kurt shouted.

"Hey we're stuck with this, might as well enjoy it!" Bobby called out. "You know I can really see why people do this. It's kind of fun."

"Somebody kill me now," Scott moaned.

"You're not getting off that easy Scott," Jean snapped as she came back from behind the curtain. "Now work it!"

"Yeah Summers! Work it," Lance snorted. "Work those pink shorts and stripes."

"Hasn't that stupid Brotherhood satellite been shot down yet?" Scott yelled. "Where's the FCC when we **need **it?"

Meanwhile in a bar quite far away…

"Pink stripes are **not **a good look on Cyclops," Logan remarked as he took a sip of beer.

"I can't help but feel a little guilty about this," Xavier winced as he watched the spectacle on the television in a bar somewhere.

"Don't be. Any guy who wakes me up at three in the morning for a stupid fire drill deserves what he gets," Logan grunted.

"My fur was soaked to the bone," Hank groaned. "Did he really have to make us all go outside when it was raining?"

"And why didn't you at least stop the rain?" Logan asked Ororo. "Or at the very least send a lightning bolt at Summers?"

"Don't think I wasn't tempted," Ororo admitted. "The lightning bolt I mean."

"Perhaps we should have done something to stop this spectacle?" Xavier sighed.

"I dunno," Logan looked around the bar. "People look like they're getting into it."

There were a group of bikers at the end of the bar watching the show. "I don't believe this! Are those mutants crazy?" One biker shouted. "Everybody knows that lime green and a yellow coat is completely out of fashion!"

"Are you **blind?**" Another biker shouted. "That yellow coat is perfect! It's a spring coat! It's that blue jacket with the pink shorts that should be burned!"

"Keep an open mind!" A third biker snapped. "Pink is a very happening color!"

"Not everybody looks as good as you do in pink, Herman!" The first biker snapped.

"Well that's true," Herman agreed.

"Hey look, the red head is beating up another one of her models," Another biker laughed.

"I don't know why," Herman remarked. "She's the one who put him in those pink shorts."

"I think we're a hit," Ororo blinked.

"Only because Jean is hitting Cyclops," Logan remarked. "Gotta admit that is a good way to get ratings."

"At the very least this is giving mutants some…Well good publicity isn't **exactly **the phrase I would use to describe it," Hank sighed. "Non-negative press. That is the more accurate term."

"Not **exactly **what I was looking for," Xavier sighed. "But at this point I will take what I can get."


End file.
